Forever

I come home to find Brett where I left him: watching The Smurfs on the mac.

It ends (finally), I check my email, open my blog. He reads the picture links.

"What's DFF? Dead Friends Forever? Dumb Friends Forever?"


Yes, Brett... that's exactly what it means.


(p.s. it actually means Desert Folk Flair)


Brett also has this habit. He'll be talking to you, and mind you he's physically incapable (or so it would seem) of finishing a sentence or completing a thought, so it takes about a million years for him to make a point. One gets weary of the effort required to follow his disjointed speech, but he notices your mind wandering and he chooses that moment to say something cheeky:

"He's just a loser."

You only half hear him, and while your brain catches up you say, "What?"

Brett says "What?" shaking his head quickly to throw you off the trail.

Winner

Once upon a time, two years ago, Brett carved a pumpkin for the contest at school on halloween. He worked on it all day and late into the night the day before the contest. The morning of, he chickened out and left his hard work at home.

Two years later, he actually signed up to participate, carved all day and late into the night the day before the contest, and in the morning he took it with him.

He won first place.

fantastic. I couldn't stop laughing.

I love that kid.

good job, bud.

Literacy

After dinner on a sunday Brett lounges on the couch, threatening to fall asleep, yet he rambles.

"Did you know that in countries like Paris they have 100% literacy?"



I had no idea Paris was a country.

Dennis the Menace

Twas beautiful out in the world today.

And I wanted nothing more than to take a ride on my new bike.

The idea seemed glorious.

Danae and Brett stood in the kitchen.

Brett caught me slipping out through the sliding door.

There I stood in the carport, mere feet from my beauty of a bike.

"Don't do that," he said. "You'll pump blood all through your face."

So I stepped away from the bike, down to the edge of the port where the sun was shining a little too brightly.

"You shouldn't go walking either, ok? Just come here."

Enter Danae.

"Where are you going? You can't go anywhere, barefoot, no less.... Quick! Stop her! She's getting away! It's the Drugs! It's the Drugs!"

Brett Yelled:

"You can't go out! Your face is fat! You're a menace to society!"



And this is how my brothers care for me after I've had my wisdom teeth removed.

Aren't they lovely?

Wishing on a star... no wait, a Candle

This past Wednesday it was dear Bretticus' birthday.

I totally bought him a new i-Pod since his kind of sucks. I know, I'm a great sister. What can I say?


As we all gathered around the table, surrounding the delicious cake my mother made, Brett applied candles to the frosted area.

He was thoughtful in this process.

Wondering aloud, "What can I spell with 15 candles?....."


We all sat and stared for a moment.

First of all that's a weird question.

Second of all, Bretty is turning 17.... not fifteen.


He realized this moments after he said it, and then continued to ask what words he could spell with 17 candles.

The candles just ended up in neat little rows on his cake.


Dear Brett,

Happy Birthday and may you always remember how old you are.

Maman, Suzette, Brett

Jay Leno

One night I was watching Selena by myself.

The nightly hour was rather late, Maman came down in her sleeping apparel to fill her water bottle.

She spoke to me concerning my activity.

"What movie are you watching?"

"Selena."

"Oh, that's the one with Jay Leno, right?"

I paused....

I pondered, Was Jay Leno in this movie? I hadn't seen it in a long time and I wasn't even halfway through it yet, so really Jay Leno could be in it...

And then I figured it out.



"Oh, you mean J-Lo?"



"Yeah, J-Lo, Jay Leno... whatever."

Tuesday Night

Sitting down at the table for dinner, Maman, Samuel, Bretticus and myself, began to chat amongst ourselves. We were basically eating on the run, because any minute, dad would be home and we would pile into the car and head out for the show.

Maman and I sat at opposite ends of the table, while Sam stood to the right of me and Brett to my far left.

Maman looked down at her plate and said: "Look at this, we're eating like hobos. No place mats, no table cloth, no napkins... oof."

The siblings just sort of stared at her for a minute....

Sam: "Mom, you realize hobos eat out of like pie tins and cans right?"

Mom continues to refute Samuel's statement. Somewhere along the way, the fact that I say ho-bag a lot comes into play.

Sam turns to me and says, "No one says ho-bag anymore."

Just then Brett snags Sam's water bottle and Sam says:

"Hey, I backwash."



Brett, as he gulps down water: "It's ok, me too."

The date

Brettsy was going on a date.

Brett is the kind who likes to keep anything and everything to himself.

When I ask him questions about life he always tells me that he'll just say no to anything I ask.

So naturally, when this occurred, the siblings interrogated him, especially since it was not he who had done the asking.

After we had pulled at him for a substantial amount of time we gleaned this:

Brett was going on a date.

Brett was going on a double date.

The other couple were two of his friends, Tory and the trusty tall-child Sterling.

Brett was attending this date with one, Heather.


Danae: "So do you know her, or is this like a blind date?"

Brett: "Of course I know her, one night I spent four hours on a corner with her!"

......

Silence.....

Danae: "You did what?...."


Brett, realizing his blunder, mumbles and walks away.

Do you See What I See?

During our stay in San Francisco last fall break,

the hotel in which we made our stay offered a continental breakfast every morning.

The parents we always ready first, then the girls
and an hour later, after the doors were closed, the boys trickled in, sneaking in through a separate door.

Everyone, it seemed, had trouble with the toaster. Four slots and two didn't pop up, resulting in badly burned bread.  As we, and other hotel patrons, struggled to help the other get the bread out, a man clad in suit and tie, wearing black-frame glasses, walked over, picked up a knife and wedged the bread out, saying they should replace the appliance, with a genial smile.

We ate our breakfast and continued to prepare for the activities of the day. Later, as we all piled in the car, dad asked if any of us had noticed a large picture in the hotel lobby. We all suggested pictures, since, there had been a few, but dad dismissed them all, as none of them had been the one he was referring to. The one he was talking about was displayed near the front desk on an easel. We all began to guess what the picture was of, guessing people and things when Brett said, in all seriousness,


"Was it.... Jesus?"



No. Turns out the man who had helped us with the toaster earlier had been the man in the picture, the owner of the hotel.

Not quite.

I like kids but, I can never finish a whole one.

After returning from babysitting the little ones while their mothers attended Relief Society, my brothers related to me the hardships they experienced. So many small children who want to be twirled through the air.




Brett said: "Man, those kids are a mouthful..."


Me: "You mean a handful."




Brett: "....What?"

My children...

i'm sitting at the kitchen table

Brett gets home from his meeting after church.

i continue to sit at the table

Brett rifles through mom's Primary treat basket.

I listen to the rustling of plastic wrappers in his hands and watch him out of the corner of my eye when he says,

"I'm going to eat one of your babies..."

i pause...

He chuckles and i remember that i saw some Baby Ruth's in the mix.

isn't he witty?