How many people do you know that slip and fall in the bathroom while washing their hands?
now you know one.
We love you Brett.
I may have a sibling, whose name might be Brett, and perhaps he says things that make me laugh... Wanna see?
Monday, December 13, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie, That's...Amore?
Last night we had pizza.
Set the oven to 400 degrees and the timer for 20 minutes. By the time the home-teachers left, the pizza was done. Everyone scattered about their business, but Brett and i remained in the kitchen. I had hardly eaten, and this was the second part of our meal (First part was breaded fish.... Hey it's the week of Thanksgiving, we can be lazy). I stood watching him pull out the pizza slicer, then proceed to cut the pizza. First in half, and then in half the other way. And there, i looked at four large pieces of pizza, but alas, there were five of us. My stomach grumbled and i voiced my distress,
"Too bad there aren't just four of us.."
Brett turned to me, wielding the slicer, and spoke:
" There could be..."
What a creep.
Set the oven to 400 degrees and the timer for 20 minutes. By the time the home-teachers left, the pizza was done. Everyone scattered about their business, but Brett and i remained in the kitchen. I had hardly eaten, and this was the second part of our meal (First part was breaded fish.... Hey it's the week of Thanksgiving, we can be lazy). I stood watching him pull out the pizza slicer, then proceed to cut the pizza. First in half, and then in half the other way. And there, i looked at four large pieces of pizza, but alas, there were five of us. My stomach grumbled and i voiced my distress,
"Too bad there aren't just four of us.."
Brett turned to me, wielding the slicer, and spoke:
" There could be..."
What a creep.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
iBrett
When Brett got home from school i pestered him in the usual ways and he told me about his day.
He revealed to me his plans for English and i gave my helpful opinion.
Nearing the end of our conversation i began to hum the same small chunk of song over and over.
Me: "Dah! i have this song stuck in my head. It's from one of the mac commercials."
Me: ".....iPad is Mac...?"
He revealed to me his plans for English and i gave my helpful opinion.
Nearing the end of our conversation i began to hum the same small chunk of song over and over.
Me: "Dah! i have this song stuck in my head. It's from one of the mac commercials."
Brett: "Well is it from the Mac comercial or the iPad commercial?"
Me: ".....iPad is Mac...?"
Brett: "Oh heh yeah, you're an idiot,"
Me: "Whaa??"
Brett: " er, I mean, I'm an idiot haha"
Momentary silence....
Brett: "Where are the tissues that were down here?"
Me: "I dunno, I was looking the other day, but I couldn't find them. I really needed them, I was definitely having issues."
Brett: "haha And so you needed tissues for your issues? Heh heh..."
He laughed to himself for a while after that one.
Have you ever heard of a wittier child?
Monday, November 8, 2010
New Slang
Whilst trotting with Maman through Costco,
Friendly women in hairnets and hats handed out samples.
Maman and I partook of particularly delightful Humus.
Tasty, tasty.
We stumbled upon Bretticus and his trusty Tall-child, Sterling.
Maman suggested they visit the Humus sample stand, seeing how she so thoroughly enjoyed it.
"Humus?" Sterling interjected.
"What's Humus?"
"It's something like a dip," I explained. "It's made from Garbanzo beans."
and here Brett continued to blunder:
"What? Garbanzo beans? No it's not!" he exclaimed, as he rolled his eyes and walked away.
"It's made from Chickpeas!"
Dear Brett,
Garbanzo beans and chickpeas = the SAME thing
The End
Friendly women in hairnets and hats handed out samples.
Maman and I partook of particularly delightful Humus.
Tasty, tasty.
We stumbled upon Bretticus and his trusty Tall-child, Sterling.
Maman suggested they visit the Humus sample stand, seeing how she so thoroughly enjoyed it.
"Humus?" Sterling interjected.
"What's Humus?"
"It's something like a dip," I explained. "It's made from Garbanzo beans."
and here Brett continued to blunder:
"What? Garbanzo beans? No it's not!" he exclaimed, as he rolled his eyes and walked away.
"It's made from Chickpeas!"
Dear Brett,
Garbanzo beans and chickpeas = the SAME thing
The End
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Shredder Scissors
A trip to Hancock fabrics called for another Blunder.
As Danny perused the 50% sale fabrics Brett and I stood in line at the cash register.
Displayed on the rack at the register were "Shredder Scissors"
Brett picked up the package and began to read aloud,
As Danny perused the 50% sale fabrics Brett and I stood in line at the cash register.
Displayed on the rack at the register were "Shredder Scissors"
Brett picked up the package and began to read aloud,
"Skip the mechanical hassle and shred by hand with Shredder Scissors
Stop Identity thief..."
hmmm.
"Identity thief?" i asked.
"There's just one individual out there, going around stealing everyone's identities?"
He cleared his throat and returned the scissors to the rack.
"In my head I said theft... Identity Theft!"
Friday, October 29, 2010
The Underground Railroad
This fall break our family went to San Francisco
along the way Brett had many blunders...
As we made our way through SanFran in the car, dad had the habit of not knowing exactly which way to go.
We ended up turning around many a time.
At one point, dad asked if anyone could tell which way was north.
we all began to debate among ourselves and suddenly Brett yelled,
"THERE'S NO MOSS ON THESE TREES!"
During the time we'd all been trying to figure it out, Brett had been searching for moss on the trees, obviously because moss grows on the north side of a tree.
Duh.
along the way Brett had many blunders...
As we made our way through SanFran in the car, dad had the habit of not knowing exactly which way to go.
We ended up turning around many a time.
At one point, dad asked if anyone could tell which way was north.
we all began to debate among ourselves and suddenly Brett yelled,
"THERE'S NO MOSS ON THESE TREES!"
During the time we'd all been trying to figure it out, Brett had been searching for moss on the trees, obviously because moss grows on the north side of a tree.
Duh.
The Beginning
Oh Brett.
Dear, dear Brett
There's this boy
and his name is Brett.
Sometimes he has moments
that we lovingly call
Brett's Blunders
If you know him, then you know what i mean.
But for those of you who don't, or just aren't around to hear them,
I come to share.
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