Do you See What I See?

During our stay in San Francisco last fall break,

the hotel in which we made our stay offered a continental breakfast every morning.

The parents we always ready first, then the girls
and an hour later, after the doors were closed, the boys trickled in, sneaking in through a separate door.

Everyone, it seemed, had trouble with the toaster. Four slots and two didn't pop up, resulting in badly burned bread.  As we, and other hotel patrons, struggled to help the other get the bread out, a man clad in suit and tie, wearing black-frame glasses, walked over, picked up a knife and wedged the bread out, saying they should replace the appliance, with a genial smile.

We ate our breakfast and continued to prepare for the activities of the day. Later, as we all piled in the car, dad asked if any of us had noticed a large picture in the hotel lobby. We all suggested pictures, since, there had been a few, but dad dismissed them all, as none of them had been the one he was referring to. The one he was talking about was displayed near the front desk on an easel. We all began to guess what the picture was of, guessing people and things when Brett said, in all seriousness,


"Was it.... Jesus?"



No. Turns out the man who had helped us with the toaster earlier had been the man in the picture, the owner of the hotel.

Not quite.

I like kids but, I can never finish a whole one.

After returning from babysitting the little ones while their mothers attended Relief Society, my brothers related to me the hardships they experienced. So many small children who want to be twirled through the air.




Brett said: "Man, those kids are a mouthful..."


Me: "You mean a handful."




Brett: "....What?"

My children...

i'm sitting at the kitchen table

Brett gets home from his meeting after church.

i continue to sit at the table

Brett rifles through mom's Primary treat basket.

I listen to the rustling of plastic wrappers in his hands and watch him out of the corner of my eye when he says,

"I'm going to eat one of your babies..."

i pause...

He chuckles and i remember that i saw some Baby Ruth's in the mix.

isn't he witty?

Chlum.

How many people do you know that slip and fall in the bathroom while washing their hands?

now you know one.

We love you Brett.

When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie, That's...Amore?

Last night we had pizza.
Set the oven to 400 degrees and the timer for 20 minutes. By the time the home-teachers left, the pizza was done. Everyone scattered about their business, but Brett and i remained in the kitchen. I had hardly eaten, and this was the second part of our meal (First part was breaded fish.... Hey it's the week of Thanksgiving, we can be lazy). I stood watching him pull out the pizza slicer, then proceed to cut the pizza. First in half, and then in half the other way. And there, i looked at four large pieces of pizza, but alas, there were five of us. My stomach grumbled and i voiced my distress,

                                     "Too bad there aren't just four of us.."

Brett turned to me, wielding the slicer, and spoke:

                                     " There could be..."


What a creep.

iBrett

When Brett got home from school i pestered him in the usual ways and he told me about his day.
He revealed to me his plans for English and i gave my helpful opinion.
Nearing the end of our conversation i began to hum the same small chunk of song over and over.

Me: "Dah! i have this song stuck in my head. It's from one of the mac commercials."

Brett: "Well is it from the Mac comercial or the iPad commercial?"

Me: ".....iPad is Mac...?"

Brett: "Oh heh yeah, you're an idiot,"

Me: "Whaa??"

Brett: " er, I mean, I'm an idiot haha"

Momentary silence....

Brett: "Where are the tissues that were down here?"

Me: "I dunno, I was looking the other day, but I couldn't find them. I really needed them, I was definitely having issues."

Brett: "haha And so you needed tissues for your issues? Heh heh..."

He laughed to himself for a while after that one.

Have you ever heard of a wittier child?

New Slang

Whilst trotting with Maman through Costco,
Friendly women in hairnets and hats handed out samples.
Maman and I partook of particularly delightful Humus.

Tasty, tasty.

We stumbled upon Bretticus and his trusty Tall-child, Sterling.
Maman suggested they visit the Humus sample stand, seeing how she so thoroughly enjoyed it.

"Humus?" Sterling interjected.
"What's Humus?"

"It's something like a dip," I explained. "It's made from Garbanzo beans."

and here Brett continued to blunder:

"What? Garbanzo beans? No it's not!" he exclaimed, as he rolled his eyes and walked away.
"It's made from Chickpeas!"

Dear Brett,

Garbanzo beans and chickpeas = the SAME thing




The End